The longest lunch in history?

I know that us Eurocrats are infamous. And the public perception of the Brussels inner track is of expense account lunches stretching into the sunset. Maybe the stories are true. Maybe this habit is stretching back across the channel?

The new(ish) Pro-Euro Tory grouping Nucleus that is highlighted by Con Home today boasts events. And what events. Take a look at this, it's inaugural policy lunch, for its Westminster branch

Category:
Conservative Europe Group
Location:
Venue: Room B1, 1 Abbey Gardens, Westminster, SW1
Time:
FROM : Wednesday, 02 November 2011 12:30
UNTIL : Monday, 02 September 2013 13:30
(UTC 00:00) Western Europe Time, London, Lisbon, Casablanca, Reykjavik
Seats available:
Unlimited seats
Event Creator:
Rhys Jones

Now I can eat and drink for England but even I might be overfaced by that.

Maybe the ECB should rethink that

Noticed by Annie Lowrey the economic policy reporter for the New York Times is this rather delightful competion on the ECB webpage.

Participate in the “Euro Run competition France 2011”;

It appears to me that the markets are doing just that.

Silver, Gold, Diamond... Who cares it's still a party

The Essex Enquirer seems to have decided the Queen is a lot younger, or at least her reign has been a lot shorter than it is,

A ONCE-in-a-lifetime opportunity to protect green spaces under threat of development across the county is being wasted by Essex councils.


As part of the Queen's Silver Jubilee celebrations next year, councils have been given the opportunity to nominate a green space to be protected in their area guaranteeing Essex's outdoor recreational spaces for future generations.

Errrr... Chaps the Silver Jubilee was in the 1977, the Diamond Jubilee is in 2012. Mustn't blame the hack though, at 24 it would be a full 7 years before he was born. Bless.

And kudos to Stuart Agnew for demanding action from the council.

They say Sex sells

But if sex is just selling sex, then isn't that rather tautological?

Escort agency Girls Company is offering a ‘sex date’ as the prize in a promotional contest. Candidates are asked to confess their ‘most exciting, naughtiest, extreme sex spot or experience’ and post it to the company’s website.

The prize consists of a mile-high flight on board a private jet with a male or female escort – straight, gay or bisexual - and the possibility of becoming a member of the Mile High Club: the people who have had sex on board a plane in mid-flight.

The promotional contest “Win a membership into the Mile High Club” is a first in the Netherlands. Girls Company owner Wouter van der Heijden says it’s a one-off deal.
“So we are not going on a Boeing737, but made a deal to do this in a private jet. Whether sex flights have a future depends on demand, because they are obviously quite expensive.”

Somehow I don't see the video being allowed on any mainstream TV station.

Book my tickets now

I have just recieved a fascinating invitaton,

European Broccoli Conference 

This is taking place as part of Fruit Attraction 2011

My breath is baited, it's chief selling point seems to be,

The conference begins with a show cooking & cocktail presented by the prestigious chef Pierre Wind in which broccoli is the main element. 

Isn't that sprouts?

The mind boggles

Philippines acts on MILF infighting

The Russians quake in fear

Priceless headline spotted by @PlaceLux

Brussels to send vegetable negotiators to Moscow

Go on then, fill in the first paragraph of copy to go with it.

Only in Devon

I love Devon, a county of great beauty and better people. But every now and then something pops up that fits a certain stereotype. Today is one of those days.

A serial pervert with a fetish for cow manure who terrorised a farmer and his family for six years has been jailed for two years.

David Truscott, 41, was discovered in a field, covered in manure and mud and naked apart from a single sock, by the farmer’s 16-year-old son on February 26 this year.

I know his actions are ghastly, and I know it must have been vile for the family, but still...

I am now safe from harm

This,

Is a photograph taken inside the gents loo at Europa House, 32 Smith Square, the Viceroy's Palace.

In order to protect us Eurocrats, at some expense, they have fitted a locked cage around the tiny radiator. After all we might be scalded by its great heat (though of course the heat is set by a centrally controlled thermostat, precluding accidental temerature increases.

I have to say it is the most preposterous bit of "Well you never know guvnor, you could hurt yourself" piece of wasted public resources I have ever seen.

And I have been working in the Euro bibble for years and trust me I have seen a fair bit.

It's EP Brain week!

Yes it is,

Are you aware of the existance of your brain. Yes, then the European Parliament is the place for you. For this week is Brian awareness week, in which we are told that,

"Education: A lifelong challenge for the brain"

Well, tell us something we didn't know. Actually in this case if I was over in Brussels I would have turned up for this one as the keynote speaker is Professor Colin Blakemore who is no intellectual slouch, but the title is just daft.

Headline of the week/month etc

Sometimes local newspapers are pure genius. From Monday's Islington Gazette I bring you this

Oh I bet the subs chortled.

Via @longjohnhill

If they can do it, why can't Eurocrats?

A friendly voice from within the system writes to me with this link  and asks the obvious question,

Monkeys manage it apparently, why not Eurocrats?

Oh the irony

This in Pravda,

Hungarian prime minister criticized for new media laws

Never a truer word spoken

Had a look at the European Parliament website and was struck by the headline

Anne Summers boss in AA Milne grooming mystery

Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes;
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.

As Tim has pointed out, this is more than a little strange,

A Surrey police spokeswoman confirmed that Cox from East Grinstead, West Sussex, was charged on December 17 with three counts of administering poison with intent to annoy.

You will note that it is on the left hand side

Sometimes punctuation is vital for clarity

This headline for example could go horribly wrong if the subs start playing around.

Norfolk council bosses rubbish prostitute claims

via @EveningNews

I bet she does

Naomi Campbell has just admitted that,

"I get gifts given to me all the time, at all hours of the night," she told the court, adding that "it is quite normal for me to receive gifts."

Pearl Necklesses anyone?

Not one of the world's most startling revalations.

You're in the Euro Now

The Brussels Jungle's take on the finacial crisis

A Coffee Keyboard moment

All the way from the Moose