There was much rejoicing at the decision of Gordon Brown not to go along to Wembley. His track record of watching England (and Scotland for that matter) matches is dire. It was thought without his ursine presence the pampered ones could actually win. We now know that the blame can not be laid at his door (which in the light of the last week or so must be a relief for him and his handlers).However I can now reveal that he is not England's malign mascot. Instead I must reveal the true culprit. Step forward Mr Chris Heaton-Harris the Conservative MEP for the East Midlands and PPC for the safe Tory seat of Daventry. I am reliably informed that this paragon has never seen England win, and was ensconced in his seat at Wembley sapping the will from the players with his mere attendance.
Chris, burn your season ticket, reject corporate hospitality, give yourself a red card. You know it makes sense, your sacrifice will be rewarded in heaven.
