Thursday, November 22, 2007


There was much rejoicing at the decision of Gordon Brown not to go along to Wembley. His track record of watching England (and Scotland for that matter) matches is dire. It was thought without his ursine presence the pampered ones could actually win. We now know that the blame can not be laid at his door (which in the light of the last week or so must be a relief for him and his handlers).

However I can now reveal that he is not England's malign mascot. Instead I must reveal the true culprit. Step forward Mr Chris Heaton-Harris the Conservative MEP for the East Midlands and PPC for the safe Tory seat of Daventry. I am reliably informed that this paragon has never seen England win, and was ensconced in his seat at Wembley sapping the will from the players with his mere attendance.

Chris, burn your season ticket, reject corporate hospitality, give yourself a red card. You know it makes sense, your sacrifice will be rewarded in heaven.


Anonymous said...

I don't think much of the corporate boxes at the new Wembley. At least Old Trafford has prawn sandwiches.

Mike Wood said...

Perhaps not so reliably informed.

He was in Munich for the Germany v England game. You remember - the one where even Heskey scored

Anonymous said...

Why has he got reflectors on his belly? It's not like you can't see it.

Elaib Harvey said...

You are of course right on that, but checking with my sources, what I should have said, and I apologise for the inaccuracy is competetive matches.

Mike Wood said...

The 5-1 game was a World Cup qualifier. You don't get much more competitive than a World Cup game between England and Germany even if it did look as though the Germans seemed to stop competing after about 10 minutes

Anonymous said...

Why is he wearing a shirt with the Italian federation symbol on it? Has he been digging the bargain basket at JJB? If he paid more than a tenner then it could be a curious example of the referee was robbed.