Latest one to come to me purports to be the grieving partner of a legal firm, one Mike Lee M.email@example.com. In it Mr Lee, with impressive verbosity tells us that he wants a fair hearing before he tells his tale of woe, or that is,
" May I preface this epistle by appealing to you to reserve judgement and peruse the contents of this missive with an open mind, as much as it may smirk of unethical practice and may even stretch to the outer peripherals of immorality, as the subject matter of this communication is directly related to one of the most horrid events in recent memory."
Naturally he is;
"a partner in the Law offices of Konkons and Associates and, the administrator of a probate will belonging to an unfortunate but prodigiously affluent victim of the recent tsunami disaster in South East Asia; who together with his next of kin's [wife and son] tragically died in that disaster while holidaying in Indonesia".
Poor chap. So what was he to do there was 27 million lying around and it is either the state gets it, or well you know the story.
Thing is of course he wants to be quite about his plans, he has of course worked hard, and honestly for ages;
"I will totally understand if you do not wish to be party to this venture. Should this be the case, I implore you to be ever so kind and gracious enough not to be vindictive and virulent by trying to ruin me by exposing my plot, rather to let the matter end here. Especially, since no one is being offended.
May I add at this point that I am a respected professional in my field, who has worked very hard for 23 years to get to the station of life I am presently in, with a family to support, and not willing to throw aspersions to my good name".
Balls to the bastard.
Konkon Associates has no web footprint. Laywer.com his email is some site that flags up "Sign up for your free lawyer.com email address". If you click the link you are taken here, where there is a bloody great advert calling for you to donate money to the Tsunami appeal.
Er... was that rude enough?