Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The new Liturgy

Seriously I popped into Peter Jones to meet up with some people and have ludicrously expensive coffee to be greeted with this message.


It is a modern liturgy in all but name. I mean after drinking coffee there I almost feel cleansed. All my sins against the planet are washed away.

Shit I should have got into a 4X4 and run over some poor starving children and I will have still morally got away with it after purchasing my indulgences at the shrine of St Peter Jones.

And you know, for only 3 quid they would have wrapped the spoon I was considering. Imagine that only 3 quid!



12 comments:

Sean O'Hare said...

If "Red Tractor" meat means it ain't Halal then so much the better. As for the rest it's bollix.

Sean O'Hare said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sean O'Hare said...

Except for the free range eggs of course. Battery eggs are inedible

Ed Butt said...

They always miss one line however, the one that should read "Our cleaners and menial workers are sourced by approved sweated labour contractors from Phlippines and Thailand.

Witterings From Witney said...

Have linked GT on "more political guidance".

This really does annoy me, so much so had I seen it I would have lodged a complaint and walked out - and to think I patronise Waitrose!

banned said...

The shop that serves as the local office for the Big Issue has a notice which reads
"Big Issue welcomes all gifts but prefers Fair Trade coffee where possible".
Cheeky Twats!

The Papal Indulgency analogy is spot on, just as Carbon Trading is one big Indulgency scam with the Carbon Offset Traders (ie Al Gore) raking it in rather than the Pope.

In the past it was "here Al Papa, have 50 Florins and forgive me for pillaging the Villeins".

AP "Tell you what son, give us another fifty and you can rape a nun on your way home".

Gawain Towler said...

Witters,
I was so annoyed I nicked the notice. It was also the great piles of very expensive catalogues, with polished paper being handed out, 4 different ones and a glossy instore mag that really pissed me off.
Howe much waste is being created by those I dread to think.

Banned, piping hot and their faces I hope.

Gawain Towler said...

Witters,
I was so annoyed I nicked the notice. It was also the great piles of very expensive catalogues, with polished paper being handed out, 4 different ones and a glossy instore mag that really pissed me off.
Howe much waste is being created by those I dread to think.

Banned, piping hot and their faces I hope.

Gawain Towler said...

Witters,
I was so annoyed I nicked the notice. It was also the great piles of very expensive catalogues, with polished paper being handed out, 4 different ones and a glossy instore mag that really pissed me off.
Howe much waste is being created by those I dread to think.

Banned, piping hot and their faces I hope.

banned said...

Gawain, you seem to have caught sixtypoundsaweekcleaner disease :)

Dodgy Geezer said...

This sort of notice is put up because it makes the company and customers feel all warm inside.

The appropriate response is to stage a scene in front of the notice, where you accuse the 'Fair Trade' system of being an oppressive imperialist plot to keep Africa poor, Red Tractor of being a Big Oil scam, 'sustainable fisheries' are EU speak for mass slaughter of undersized codlings and 'free-range' eggs are all infected with salmonella......

Anonymous said...

The glossy instore mag is (was?) edited by Battersea MP Jane Ellison, Ken Clarke's EU-supporting ex-bag carrier.

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