Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Pass the ...

...sick bag.

Truly this is not a spoof, I wish it were but no. In my occasional series where I introduce you to Members of the European Parliament there have been some highs, and some lows. Methinks this one is a low. Eija-Riitta Korhola is an EPP-ED MEP from Finland, and she has just sent this message to all her EPP-ED friends,

Dear Colleagues and Friends,

I'm sorry to bring this up, but I trust your kindness.. As some of you know, I collect airline sick bags as a hobby. The study of such a collection is called vomitology which is very close to another nauseating word in the EU procedural definitions.

My reason to write to you is 3-fold - which is also a recommended technique for used sick-bags! However, I certainly collect them as unused.

1. To announce the world's second exhibition of sick bags in Finland. The first was on the occasion of my re-election campaign almost 5 years ago and following its mouth-watering success - I'm ready to reach and regurgitate it again for my country. This will take place in Helsinki's Restaurant Ostrobotnia on the 23th of April.

2. Given that collecting is a hobby where ambition grows, I need bags of bags so long as each is different from the rest. Please send me the sick bags from the most obscure of airlines. I'm looking forward to what you will bring up in this respect. But please hurry as time is not the only thing passing.

3. I'm offering a prize of dinner with me for the most obscure named sick bag from maybe the furthest corner of the globe. What can you throw up? That is the question.
Some of you have already contributed to my collection during these many years, and I use this opportunity to express my sincere thanks. There are some real pearls in my collection from my colleagues.

Yours sickcerely

And I want to get elected to this place?


ukipwebmaster said...

Surely this is a 'gag'....?

Benjamin Harnwell said...

Gawain - as you will know, judging by how some MEPs' speeches are parodies of lachrymose sentimentality, should Ms Korhola be sufficiently beneficent, she could perform a valuable service to her colleagues by being on standby to distribute her collection in the Chamber during parliamentary business.

I think this is especially needed for the Formal Sitting love-ins when visiting Heads of State address the Parliament.

(Bit slow on the uptake. Only just got the 'gag' pun above).

Alfred the Ordinary said...

"And I want to get elected to this place? "

Wrong. We need people like you to get elected, not because you want to. No one in their right mind would "want" to get elected there.

Gawain Towler said...

Fair point Alfred, you are of course right. It's not a question of want... more a question of need.
What I want is move to Dorset and do all sorts of things. What I do is sit in a dull grey office in a dull grey town thinking of ways to annoy our masters.

Alfred the Ordinary said...

"What I want is move to Dorset"

Roll on 4th June!