"A mouse sneaked into an EU ministers' lunch in Brussels on Monday, but Britain's top diplomat, embroiled in a row with Moscow over the killing of a Russian ex-spy, was at pains to insist it was no eavesdropping Russian mole.
"I hope it's not the case that the most memorable part of the lunch was the fact that a mouse was found alive in the ministerial dining room," Foreign Secretary David Miliband told reporters after the meeting of EU foreign ministers.
"It wasn't giving off beeps, there were no screams and it didn't seem to be a mouse with a microchip embedded," he said.
Asked if was perhaps a Russian mouse eavesdropping on his update to European colleagues of Britain's diplomatic row with Moscow over the murder of a former Russian agent in London, Miliband said simply: "No".
Oh my giddy Aunt. Please tell me they can dobetter than this, please.