Hello Hello hello what's this

OK this is getting silly.

The smoking ban seems to be causing all sorts of problems. may I bring you one Alison Grange of Hereford County Council who tells us,

"nobody has been fined so far, and regarding bus stops, only the smoker will be fined as it is unreasonable for the council or bus company to keep an eye on every bus stop in the country".

Which for me means, I fear I will never catch a bus again. After all I find that the only way to provoke a bus into apperaing at a bus stop is to light a gasper. Operating on the rule (similar to carrying an umberlla to forstall rain) that they only turn up when you have something to do. I have tested this hypothosis and I find it a failsafe - no more.

Then we have the problem faced by BT, will they be fined for not putting no smoking signs up in every phone box in the land? What about the Tardis?

Of course the regulations have been written in such a wooly way that if I were to cook in apublic place I too could get caught out. Dizzy has spotted that the regulations carry no reference to what sort of smoking is banned,

"So, what does this all mean? Well... joss sticks, open fireplaces, matches, nightclub smoke machines (possibly), the lighting of candles, burning food in a working kitchen, all of these things have been prohibited by the new "smoke-free" laws and regulations all because they appear to spent their time defining enclosed spaces whilst not defining what they mean by "smoke".

And then there is the Palace of Westminster where MPs have been caught like naughty schoolboys,
"This time it is a let off Cameron Minor, but next time iot will be a letter to your parents"
Of course over here in the Palace of Vanties, it took only 49 days for the Parliaments own ban to be overturned due to recalcitrant refuseniks like N Farage Esq.