He's a maniac, maniac that's for sure: He will kill your cat and nail him to the door

Well that is how John Stevens, the former Tory MEP and independent candidate for Buckingham has described Nigel Farage. In a short piece in the Standard last night he was saying quite why it was that he wished to stand in the division.

"I am standing for three reasons," explains Stevens. "Firstly, I think it is ridiculous that the Speaker should have a special seat — it means the people are disenfranchised. The best way of getting the constitutional reform we need would be to vote him out. Secondly, his conduct as an MP and Speaker is emblematic of the whole scandal which has erupted over parliamentary democracy. We face an enormous financial crisis and very tough decisions to make on parliamentary reform — this would send a message that changes need to be made."

But, most importantly, I think the people of Buckingham deserve an ordinary MP — not a Speaker nor a UKIP maniac. I think John Bercow can be defeated. There is an enormous groundswell towards me of local Conservatives who are unhappy that there will not be an election."

Points one and two are very valid, but the final point is just glorious in many ways. As Farage points out in his letter of response,

Being described as a maniac by John Stevens (Fishy goings on 22/02/10) is akin to being called a junkie by Amy Winehouse. This is the man who created the Pro-European Conservative Party out of pique that he hadn't been selected high enough up the Tory Euro MP list, the party later collapsing in ignomy. He has also been campaigning ever since for Britain to join the Euro, which had we followed his advice would have ensured economic catastrophe.

And the idea that John Stevens is ordinary is risible. A story is told about him, back when he was an MEP in the mid 90's. The Tory group at Reading University asked him to come out canvassing for the local elections. This he did, driving up and lending his time for an hour or so... in his Rolls Royce.

Afterwards the students thanked him but asked if, next time he could tone down the ostentatious mode of transport.

"No problem, I understand", says Mr Stevens.

So he comes along on the next canvassing day. No Rolls this time, no, he drove up in a Porsche.

Man of the people that John Stevens.