Monday, January 05, 2009

Are you an extremist?

The Met Police have set up a website to encourage people to report extremists. Better still they have taken out a Google advert to encourage people to report, specifically "Right Wing Extremists". Better still if you type Left Wing Extremist into Google the same advert comes up singling out Right Wingers.

When you visit the Met's site you get a list of suspicious activities,

Van – Terrorists need transport. If you work in commercial vehicle hire or sales, has a sale or rental made you suspicious?
This year I have twice hired vans...

Passport – Terrorists use multiple identities. Do you know someone with documents in different names for no obvious reason?
I posess Id documentation in different names, due to bureacratic cock-up, and haven't dealt with it due to amusement.

Mobile phone – Terrorists need communication. Anonymous, pay-as-you-go and stolen mobiles are typical. Have you seen someone with large quantities of mobile phones? Has it made you suspicious?
I must have about seven or eight mobile phones hanging around the house due to various reasons, I even have a range of numbers - some anonymous, some pay as you go, from different countries.

Camera – Terrorists need information. Observation and surveillance help terrorists plan attacks. Have you seen anyone taking pictures of security arrangements?
I illustrate this blog with some photos I have taken in the last year of a security installation.

Chemicals – Do you know someone buying large or unusual quantities of chemicals for no obvious reason?
I recently bought a chemistry set as a present.
Mask and goggles – Terrorists use protective equipment. Handling chemicals is dangerous. Maybe you’ve seen goggles or masks dumped somewhere.
It had goggles in it.

Credit card – Terrorists need funding. Cheque and credit card fraud are ways terrorists generate cash. Have you seen any suspicious transactions?
I do hope nobody has access to my credit card slips, I wopuldn't remember what half of them were for.

Computer – Terrorists use computers. Do you know someone who visits terrorist-related websites?
How would anybody know what websites I had been visiting on my lap-top, but oddly enough yes, if you look in my cache there would no doubt be a few that might cause raised eyebrows.

Suitcase – Terrorists need to travel. Meetings training and planning can take place anywhere. Do you know someone who travels but is vague about where they are going?
Yup, oddly enough I have a number of suitcases, none tagged with my name. Only last weekend I was so vague about my travel arrangements I ended up in the wrong country.
Padlock – Terrorists need storage. Lock-ups, garages and sheds can all be used by terrorists to store equipment. Are you suspicious of anyone renting a commercial property?
Dammit, I have bought a number of padlocks over the last twelve month, and am in possesion of a large lock up garage.

So ladies and gentlemen, can I suggest that you all report me for the obvious terrorist I am, or conversly go and report yourselves.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Whilst in times gone by, even recent times gone by, it may have been a bit of a jolly jape to report ourselves for such stupidities, I fear that now is different. For a start there will be an arrest, yours. And thereafter, having tagged yourself with the "right wing extremist" badge, you will be suspected as a culprit in every incident for which they suspect (or want to blame) right wing extremists. Keep your head down, you will be of much more use to the cause later, when the going is even rougher.