Don't panic everybody, it appears that I am not going to die just yet. Just returned for the compulsory annual Eurocrat medical,
Dr. "So you tell me that in the three years since you last came here that you have started smoking heavily.."
Dr "Are drinking far more than you did...",
Dr. "And you are eating more and and richer".
EH. "Errr yes".
Dr. "So the fact that your blood cholestrol has dropped by 15%, you have lost weight and you heart, liver, kidney and lung functions have improved would suprise you"
Dr. "No I don't understand it either, now get out of here and don't come back for a long time. Oh and by the way people like you don't help our statistics."
Maybe I have the answer, as spotted by Theo Spark.
Though Snopes pours cold water on the idea, shame.