Monday, September 03, 2007

Pure genius

Do not exceed the stated dose
a.k.a. sixty-two things inanimate objects told me to do this month.

Do not exceed the stated dose.
Do not wash with brightly-coloured clothes.
Do not dispose of in fire
Do not iron. For hire.
Always use
the correct-rated fuse.
Made in a factory where nuts are used.

Press tablets through from other side.
No user-serviceable parts inside.
No parking. Fragile.
Do not use door while
vehicle is in motion.
Always reject if seal is broken.

Shake before use. Contents may come loose
in transit.
Do not pierce or burn, even after use.
Ensure battery is full. Pull.

Keep cool. Look right.
Horn is for use only at night.
After use store in an upright position.
No photography without permission.
Enjoy responsibly. Store horizontally.
Drink chilled. Serve with ice.
Never use a condom twice.

Do not discharge near face. Do not open case. Always store in a cool dry place.

Protect can from direct sunlight.
Keep out of the reach and sight
of children. Push. Keep left.
Mind that child he may be deaf.
If undelivered please return to the address printed overleaf.
For use only on teeth. Twist here to open cap.

Mind the gap.

For best before, see top.
Stop. No hat, no boots, no job.
Rights protected.
Use only as directed
by your
Please mind
the closing doors.

Do not disassemble. Do not recharge.
Extra Large.
Freeze on day of purchase. Do not eat.
Please retain this receipt
for your records. Warning: X-rays.

Once opened refrigerate and consume within 28 days.
Keep clear. Exit to rear. Do not insert forcibly into the ear.
If you can read this, you're too close.

Do not exceed the stated dose.

Hat tip Blogger Round Up

1 comment:

Honey said...

things may appear smaller in the rear view mirror,
Jesus christ saves and we are all sinners.