Below is the explanation for the bizarre comment made by Caroline Jackson in her Times article earlier this week. It comes in the shape of a spoof press release which she circulated amongst those MEPs who plan to join her in defying David Cameron.
From: JACKSON Caroline
Sent: 14 December 2005 14:21
To: KIRKHOPE Timothy; MCMILLAN-SCOTT Edward; BOWIS John; STEVENSON Struan; BUSHILL-MATTHEWS Philip; CHICHESTER Giles; BEAZLEY Christopher J. P.; ASHWORTH Richard; PURVIS John ASSISTANT; ATKINS Robert; ELLES James; HOLTUM James; BIESMANS John
A passing sheep has just dropped this in
Tory deal with Slovenian Woolgatherers unravels
Ljubljana: Leading members of the Slovenian Woolgatherers party (Kardiganska Wooliova Slovenia) today moved quickly to deny any possibility that they would sign up to any new grouping with renegade Conservatives in the European Parliament. Their spokesman Beta Sodoff explained "We saw the report about this in the London press today. We have had some contacts from a Mr Heaton Hannon but we have nothing in common with these people: we want to be in a powerful position in the parliament, not on the backbenches; we believe in reforming the EU from within , not in fighting to get out. They should take a stitch out of our own tapestry as we say in Slovenia: calm down and think what they are doing". The Slovenian press reported today that two other Slovenian parties had also been approached by a Mr Helmer Hannon ( believed to be twin brother of Mr Heaton Hannon) but had resisted his pleas for them to form a new alliance in Europe. They were the Slovenian Cellists and the Spaghettists ("I Spaghettisti"). The latter are formed from the remaining Italian minority in Slovenia and are described by observers as "on the outer fringe of the lunatic fringe". Latest reports from Bratislava suggest that the Hannon group has now switched its attention to canvassing the right wing Slovakian Philatelists for their support
14 December 2005
Oh, that explains it then.