Sunday, October 23, 2005

Dangerous liaisons

A chum of mine is going out with a Belgian bailiff. It is after all a job. He is in fact a Hussier de Justice, and has to do the normal bailiff type stuff, sequestering property and so on.
What is different is the adultery side of the job here in Belgium.
It appears that if you believe that your spouse is playing away, and you wish to terminate your marriage, whilst retaining control of everything children, house etc, then you must first prove that an affair is indeed taking place. First you hire a private detective, who then goes to the local magistrate that grants a warrant. At which point you hire a hussier de Justice, a policeman and a locksmith. They then turn up at the scene of the delicto and attempt to catch it in flagrante – but not before 5am. The idea is that these three types break in, and go up to the bedroom, confirm the identities of any in there and leave job done. Of course if the straying partner gets wind of this they may hide in the house, thus the policeman and hussier have, with the warrant the right to search every room.

In how many ways is this wrong?

Worse it is dangerous. Earlier this year the Justice Minister in Belgium, one Laurette Onkelinx announced that there were 641,781 guns in private ownership. Now according to the CIA in July of this year there were 8,616,216 people over the age of 14 in the country. That means that one in every 14 people owns a legally held gun.
And they send officials into people’s bedrooms at 5 o’clock in the morning!


Maranna said...

I just don't think I'd like that job, thank you VERY much! Too risky.

I'm glad to find out that Belgium hasn't lost all sense. You can still own a gun there. Ready to drill lead into "intruders" at 5 AM.

DirtCrashr said...

They only have one in fourteen? We need to mobilize a relief effort, and send them more guns!

zoe said...

to be more precise - unless rules have changed since 1999, the bailiff can go around at 3am with the locksmith and policeman, knock on the door loudly enough to waken the entire household, the door must be opened ASAP and as soon is it is, they go to the bedroom and feel both sides of the bed from top to bottom to check that they have been slept in.

There is little chance of the one in the wrong escaping anywhere.

The ordeal takes about 5 minutes, but involves a lot of calculating from the spouse who has had the bailiff sent there, which can be done via his/her lawyer.